I hate the taste of alcohol

Either my friends or people whom I know call me an alcoholic person. Honestly speaking, I really hate the taste of alcohol, in terms of beer or hard liquor. But on the actual note, what I hate most is emotions. I hate it when it hits me, I hate it when it makes me moody, I hated how it changes me from one person to another. Being an emotional and sensitive bitch. Worst-case scenarios, I even cry to myself, questioning everything I can think of. I am totally not that kind of person but somehow it makes me turned into one. I can't find any solutions other than alcohol. It is the best antidote. It helps me to stop thinking so much and it also makes me into a happy person. Maybe that's why people choose to take drugs, to ignore what is happening in life as well as "turned off their emotions". Which is what I have been looking for all this time. It shows the best of me after consuming it. A different side of me where I want to show everyone but on the side note, who is willing to know or even to find out what is the other side of me wants.